This past Saturday, Pabst Brewing Company announced that, after 175 years, it was discontinuing production of Schlitz beer.
That touched a chord in me, because I got drunk on Schlitz beer before I was two years old.
My father was a drinker of Schlitz beer for many years. I can recall those bottles-then-cans in our refrigerator at home and in ice chests when we went fishing. Sometime around the mid-1960’s, I think, he switched to Budweiser. But until then he enjoyed his Schlitz.
I remember one of their commercial slogans was, “When you’re out of Schlitz, you’re out of beer!”
I, of course, do not personally remember getting drunk on Schlitz beer before I was two years old. So this tale comes from my mother telling the story over and over throughout my childhood.
As my mom tells it, her mom and dad came over to our house one Saturday or Sunday for a meal when I was around 18-19 months old. While my mom and Nana were in the kitchen preparing the meal, my father and grandfather were seated in the living room with some 6 to 8 feet of space between their chairs watching something on TV, chatting about things and each drinking a bottle of Schlitz.
I was in the living room with my dad and granddad, with my mother’s instructions to my father being, “James, keep an eye on Jeff while we get the food ready.”
As you’ll see, that didn’t exactly happen.
Sometime later, 30 or 45 minutes I was told, my mom came out of the kitchen to place food on the table and spotted her darling baby boy laughing, giggling, and stumbling about in a drunken stupor.
After a few seconds of watching my inebriated behavior my mom raised her voice and said, “James! That boy is drunk!”
Apparently, though neither my father or grandfather recall it, while I was with them I was toddling back and forth between their chairs taking sips out of each of their bottles of beer. And getting happier and happier with each round trip.
Needless to say, my mother was not happy with my father OR her father, but it did provide a funny story to tell later through the years. And now again today.
So farewell to Schlitz (which I can’t recall EVER drinking again after that day) one of my dad’s favorite beers.
