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“Slaughterhouse Five” – Book Review
It’s difficult for even me to believe, but this is the first work of Vonnegut’s I’ve ever read. You would have thought I would have read it in 1970-71 when I was 15 & 16 and in the American Literature class in school, but my teacher was a very conservative type who did not entertain the notion that anything other than the classics would qualify as American Literature. Then somehow, I have never picked it up through the years until now.
“Slaughterhouse Five” is the story of Billy Pilgrim, a man who joins the army and becomes a POW of the Germans in WW II in the city of Dresden when Dresden is destroyed by Allied firebombing. Pilgrim survives because he and some other prisoners are being held in an underground makeshift holding area that used to be Slaughterhouse Five in a meatpacking district. Shortly after that the war is ended and Pilgrim returns home to marry the daughter of the head of an optometry school he is attending. Years later, on the night of his oldest daughter’s own wedding, he is abducted by aliens and transported to the their planet to be studied. The aliens also abduct a Hollywood starlet and get Pilgrim and the starlet to mate. They then return Pilgrim to Earth only a few seconds after they originally abducted him, explaining that they view time as a whole, like viewing a mountain range in its entirety rather than a single peak. Somehow, Pilgrim is now also able to view all of his life in the same manner, so he now knows all the good and bad things that will happen, even when his death will occur. He even calmly boards a plane that he knows will crash, leaving him as the only survivor, and later blithely performs an act that he knows will lead to his death.
Without giving away any more, that is the substance of the story Vonnegut tells. It is the style in which he tells it that makes this the work that it is and if you’re not prepared for that style you may be put off a bit at first. In short, the story is not told in a linear fashion in order to emphasize the “viewing time as a whole” viewpoint of the aliens (and Pilgrim). Scenes jump back and forth and forth and back, which can be disconcerting. Vonnegut is also a satirist, especially in his view of war.
Vonnegut also employs a device that while aggravating at first, eventually accomplishes his desired effect. Every time it is mentioned that someone or some group dies or death is even mentioned, he immediately follows that with the statement “So it goes.” After the fifth time I was getting pretty ticked, but by the one-hundredth time I had become inured to it. And that was his whole point, to make you realize that you become hardened to the constant onslaught of death and dying.
If you’ve never read “Slaughterhouse Five” I hope that you will and I hope that you will enter his story with the understanding that it is not told in your typically expected fashion or style.
“As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly!”
In my humble opinion, “WKRP In Cincinnati” is THE funniest TV comedy series to ever air! And the funniest episode EVER was “Turkeys Away”, which aired as the series’ Thanksgiving episode in the first season (1978).
The story premise, which was based on a real-life event that happened at radio station WQXI in Atlanta, has station owner Mr. Carlson deciding to take a more hands-on managerial approach by doing the greatest Thanksgiving promotion in radio history — dropping live turkeys from a helicopter.
While the entire episode is filled with great lines by all the cast members, the funniest line is the final one of the episode, delivered by a disheveled Mr. Carlson who in complete seriousness states, “As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly!”
If you’ve never seen the show or episode, here’s a YouTube video showing the last 4 minutes of the show. I laughed so hard the first time I saw it on TV some 35 years ago, and still laugh every time I see this clip. Perhaps you will too.
In addition, here’s a fun little quiz about the whole episode that Mental Floss has created.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
Posted in Holidays, Television
Tagged Humor, TV
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Funny Snowman Prank
This guy has done this in previous years and he and his crew are back this year with a new compilation of shots where he scares unsuspecting folks walking down the streets of Boston. I laugh every time, however I worry that one day someone is going to be so startled that they break out a gun or knife and react before they can stop themselves.
Note that there is (as would be expected) some NSFW language.
Phantom Cell Phone Vibration Syndrome
Does this ever happen to you? I carry my iPhone in a belt holster on my waist and my work Blackberry goes there as well when I’m out working. I can be sitting at my desk working or in a chair reading a book and suddenly I feel a vibration coming from the belt case on my waist. I pull out my iPhone…and there’s nothing there. No missed call. no text message, no photo arriving, no email notification…nothing. If I’m carrying both phones I check the BB and it’s the same story.
This used to happen to me when I carried a beeper (remember those?) or pager as well.
So, what causes the Phantom Cell Phone Vibration Syndrome? Mental Floss has a couple of ideas that researchers have identified as possibilities. I’m not sure that “anticipation” or “misguided sensory input” are going to turn out to be valid causes, but at least I know I’m NOT crazy and that qualified minds are looking into the matter.
Posted in General
Tagged Blackberry, iPhone5S, Technology
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Voting “No” On Airline Flight Cell Phone Conversations
Drew Sheneman, editorial cartoonist for The Star-Ledger newspaper in Newark, NJ, hits the nail on the head with his cartoon about allowing cell phone conversations on airline flights.
I can see a jump in sales of noise-cancelling headphones or even just an increase in usage of earbuds. For me, personally, it’s bad enough when I have someone in my general vicinity on the plane who just cannot shut up talking to their seatmate. And I’m talking the “I’ve never seen you in my life but I’m going to talk to you like we’re best buddies for the entire flight” kind of talking. Now, if the FCC and/or airlines allow cell phone voice conversations, it will be, “Blah, blah, blah…can you hear me? We’re flying over Akron, the signal must be bad.” or personal conversations of the type shown in the cartoon that most people DON’T want to hear.
I always plug in my earbuds and crank the music or podcast volume up as soon as I get seated to block out most of the noise generated by Chatty Cathys of both genders and that won’t change. But I know how it is now under the current rules listening to people have cell phone conversations before take off and after landing. It’s painful to imagine how it will be if that is taking place during the entire flight.
The FCC is scheduled to vote on December 12th about whether to put the proposal out for public comment. If they do, my comment and vote will be “No!”
Black Friday Death Count
Other than one time early in our marriage, so that would be about 15 or 16 years ago, I have never gone anywhere near a retail establishment on “Black Friday”, and that one time was only because Cindy thought she would try it out. She quickly changed her mind and we’ve never done it since.
But there are plenty of people who LOVE to shop for the “Black Friday” deals, so much so that they will camp out in front of a store days ahead of its scheduled opening in order to be first in line; be part of a stampede through the front doors; snatch sale items out of the hands of other shoppers; and buy multiples of certain sale items so they can sell them for a profit on eBay.
Every year, usually on the “Black Friday” evening news, we hear and see stories of people being injured or killed during these store sale events. Now there’s a website that shows, since 2006, how many people have been injured or died during “Black Friday” events.
I wonder how much those numbers will change this year?






