The 17th century philosopher, Pascal, wrote “The heart has its reasons which reason knows nothing of.” that I have paraphrased as the heart knows what the mind does not.
It’s been a nasty couple of days and my mood has reflected it, though I wasn’t quite sure why.
Yesterday afternoon I had some unpleasant news shared from my employer, not for me specifically but for all of us, that soured me a lot more than I expected it to. An incident in the office also found me reacting more harshly than is usual for me. Sleep last night was fitful and this morning… well, as I put it to Cindy, “I’m very short-tempered and I don’t like that.” I know I have not been my usual self around my co-workers, but they have been gracious enough not to mention it. And I have tried to purposefully be my best, but I don’t have a poker face and sometimes my sarcasm will not be reined in, lol.
When I ended our usual morning call with Cindy today she closed by saying, “Whenever you’re feeling aggravated and frustrated today, please remember that I love you.” And some people might laugh, but those words and that concern from her heart lightened my own heart quite a bit.
Then, later today, the fact that the heart knows what the mind does not was borne out when I realized during a walk to lunch that it was 10 years ago tonight, February 27, 2010, that my mother passed away. Sometimes my grief and sadness manifest itself in the exact feelings I described above. I’m not proud of that, just acknowledging that it happens. Even when I’m not conscious of the “why”, they still pop up.
I wouldn’t say that realizing the sad anniversary was on my mind even when I wasn’t consciously thinking about it has removed all of my nasty mood, but at least I think I know now why these things that I can usually “roll” with have instead heavily pulled me down the past couple of days.
Because the heart knows what the mind does not.